I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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