he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize