Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
