She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize