that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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