I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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