Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
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