O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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