Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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