my vag is so smooth its legendary
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize