when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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