At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Such a big mess for such a small penis
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
