coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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