Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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