4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
