now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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