why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
