Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
