OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
