I think my fart just growled at me.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
