That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
