I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
