I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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