Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
