We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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