Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize