i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
