Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
