I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
MIDGETS
????
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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