She's JV to your varsity
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
