If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
How external is "for external use only"?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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