the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
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