I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
