This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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