sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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