you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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