We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
