Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Let's paint friendship bongs
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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