Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
