When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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