and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
