Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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