I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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