Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
