Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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