i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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