Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Still dying that you shit outside
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
