I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
