I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
There's always time for handjobs
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize