As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
i believe in u and ur pee
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
