omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
