Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize