You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
You can't just leave with hair like that
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
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