Your tits are I can't wait for
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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