Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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