Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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