I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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