based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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