Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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