I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
