If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize