She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
