i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
