And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I wear drunk well.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
