i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
