My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
