she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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