This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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